Jaking off: The chronicles
by Super Potato123
Summary: About a young man who has been sent on a mission from god to well... you'll find out
1. Chapter 1

The stunning tales of Jaking off.  
Chapter 1: The Challenge

It starts out in Jake's old Indian cottage and while hes drinking a cup of tea straight from the commonwealth and then comes a knock at the door Jake goes to answer the door and when he opens it...  
Misha with no emotion "Hello there Jake."  
Jake proclaims,  
"WAIT WHAT WHY ARE YOU HERE AND WEARING SEXY MONK CLOTHES"  
Misha was infact wearing very sexy monk clothes with the top of them slightly lose and a scarf round his neck Misha sighs saying "I know they are indead sexy but if you would please listen to my tales..."  
Misha ushers towards the sofa saying "I will tell you everything..."  
After closing the front door to Jake's tiny cottage Misha and Jake sit down. Oh and did I mention Jakes wearing a very revealing Indian gown Jake stands up almost revealing everything and says Jake proclaims suddenly "WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!"  
He slams his hands down on the table in fury Misha with no reation "Quiet my brother, all will be explained soon"  
Misha puts his hand up to issue silence to Jake and calmly explains Misha continues "I have been sent by god to issue you this task"  
He swips Jake's cup of tea right out his hand and sips it firmly Jake supprised exclaims "Hey!"  
Misha ignoring it continues "He orders you to create a harem, one to challenge all harems with as many people as you can wrangle"  
Jake sighs "Why though?"  
Misha with a cheeky look on his face almost the face of one who would want to have a cheeky nandos right then and there says "No clue but I'm sure he likes a bit of fun"  
"Anyway my one reward for delivering this message to you is to be the first member of your harem... This is all I desire"  
"Challenge accepted!" Jake proclaims triumphantly "And I love the part about you being the first" Jake touches Misha's arm "Get ready for the preharem" Jake says as they both leap out the door in search of a harem adventure 


	2. Chapter 2

The stunning tales of Jaking off.  
Chapter 2: The training

Jake and Misha skip happily along the road hand in hand to the training headquarters of the Hero of Time.  
When Jake knocked on the door the response time was quite fast and he stepped out.  
He was drenched in green from head to toe which disgusted many people as they hated the envirement and wished nothing more of it than for it just to go away.  
He was wearing his tunic quite fasionably that day with it slightly lower so you could see some of his flesh poking out, some even being quite inappropriate parts.  
Jake clearly states out in bold and underlined writing "We would like to use your services" holding a winky face The man responds with a simple but immediate and rehearsed response of "Hello there. My name is Link, would you like some training at my humble dojo?"  
Jake starts "I would lov-"  
He is cut off by Misha who implies "I wish for you to show me fir-"  
For a second time someone is cut off as Link grabs him and pulls Misha in grabbing all his clothes off in the process then grips Misha's mouth and injects it on his dick.  
Misha through enjoyment responds "This feels so good lets go more"  
Link ignores him calling Jake over as he spanks his arse.  
He says "You've not escaped my grasps too" as he says this he undresses Jake too and shoves his monster boner up Misha's arse.  
Misha responds to his with a "Yes more" line like in all the other pornos out there to which Jake cannot hold back his excitement and instantly cums.  
Link responds with "Good work" patting his back as Jake jizzes some more due to this with which Misha once again, grones with enjoyment at the extra jizz and then collapsed to the floor clearly not well disaplined enough.  
Link then says to Jake "Your decent kid" he takes a sip of his tea "But you clearly ne-" he suddenly stops when Misha makes a swipe at his tea then trying to finish his sentence "need more prac-" Suddenly Sanic the Hedgehog jumps through the window looking really weird due to the lack of his artist's skill and takes the cup out of Links hand Link responds with a sudden "Hey!" before Sanic escaped into the woods once again never to been seen.  
Link forgeting what occured there continues "You both need plenty of practice. You Jake to last much longer and Misha you have to become a better toilet!"  
Misha mumbles "M-m-my dream..." crawling forward covered in cum still Link puts his hand on Jake's shoulder and says "We will make this work"  
Scene fades out with a training montage with some of this music watch?v=PX7zPlQjAr8 


	3. Chapter 3

Jaking Off Chapter Twa

JaKe when enjoying a nic wank alone wen all of sudden he become women.  
Then wen JaKe was wanking don teh stret he saw what he taught was women.  
He ask women "Do u wank nic sax?"  
Teh stranger rupled "yes i like"  
Ten l8er in JaKe's apuartment teh sax was in fuition.  
teh stranger, who was naked, was teh named Jams Flyn.  
And JaKe, who was also naked, was teh named JaKe.  
Jams Flyn who JaKe taught was woman, was nit complatly women.  
Jams Flyn has mahuasive wangr but vagina too.  
Jams Flyn rabed his? lathery tits aginst JaKe's tats.  
JaKe scremed as she squited melk all aver teh palce.  
Jams Flyn sad "you're squiting u're wam tander melk all aver teh palce"  
"it twis nic"  
Naxt Jams maved duwn towads teh vigina aund gat her? raging baner inta JaKe's tighet asian pussay.  
jaKe scremed on agany as her vininity is taken.  
But tehn suddenly Jams was wendingo, but no narmal wendingo but a wendingo for humman juicys.  
Jams suddanly stated to lap duwn all teh melk fram JaKe's tits as JaKe shouted "staup it, staup it"  
But Jams cauldnt due to wendingo his? sense and fanished JaKe off tall he was stack yat a husk wtih cum all aver him,  
had to toe.  
Jams laft vactorious, looking far more cumsluts

Is Jams boy or grill? Find in naxt tim 


	4. Chapter 4

After the mystereous events that unfolded the previous night Jams Flyn ended up joining ze harem making Jake one step closer to becoming the harem king.  
Reunited with Misha who was sad at Jake's sex change as then less dicks could be shoved in him although happy at the new arival to the crew.  
As they were walking down the road into the forest Jake looked up at the sun and noticed the massive baby head floating in the sky and said "They, you little wanks look up at sky thing", however nobody listened to what Jake said because he is women and no one have to listen to women.  
Hours later in the trees there was a rustling in which 4 different coloured individuals stepped out of, their leader, going by the name of Tinky Winky, stepped forth and exclaimed,  
"WHOS FIRST OF YOU LITTLE BLIGHTERS", Misha responded by pointing his gappiung arsehole towards him saying,  
"MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE". Tinky Winky griped his tinky winky and tinky winkied it inside of Misha and ushered Dipsy over and pointed at Jake and muttered something while Misha shouted,  
"YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS", at Tinky Winky's tinky winky being inside of him. Dipsy then went over and got Jake to suck his mammoth cock all inside of his mouth in which Jake squirmed in delight as Laa-Laa and Po (Now both fucking futinari) put their dicks inside of his pussy and arse and Jake started moving his hips more,  
feeling left out Jams goes to put his dick in Misha's mouth when out of nowhere Sanic comes and does it for and forces Jams to settle with Tinky Winky's behind which he does enjoy ploughing quite a lot. After a while Sanic speeds off saying you're too slow cumming while he moves to increase his speed with all of it skillfully landing on Jams' face. When they are all done the teletubbies extend a invitation to join their party.  
JAKE WAS FURIOUS AND KILLED THEM ALL BECAUSE HE SHALL NOT JOIN THE PARTY OF SUCH SWINE! they shall join him... so Jake used his satanic powers to revive them but being incomplete it only revived their dicks which Jake sucked dry with such enjoyment on his face.  
But what if teletubbies were not kill...

...  
Erm...  
Are they kill or not? That is the question I don't even know the enswer to. 


	5. Chapter 5

On this sunny middle of the night right after marathoning a recording session accross the 6 month gap/however long from the last Jaking Off was released the crew came out with, finally the haloween episode (30 seconds long) to be released sometime in the future. However before this a party occured at the creator of Jaking Off's house, Alex. Alex fucking hated life and wanted to kill himself and Jaking Off was the only thing that keeps him going, however, no one fucking cares so lets move on. It was his birthday and all was happy in the Alex(? [Insert your last name here for self insersion because why not]) household. There were killer guests like Alfie P the O.G., some anime girl that only speaks Japanese, and finally last but not least, Sam Pepper(Author's Note: oh yeah there is Jake too but I thought nobody cared about him). With all these jokers gathered at the same place only fun would insue and it did as Alfie P the O.G. slid into the house dancing all the while. This was of course a fabulous dance causing all to fixate on him as he danced into the house. Several hours later everyone notice how late it got and many people went home while many still stayed to watch Alfie P the O.G.. It was not until Sam Pepper pulled a wicked sick prank where he planted a bomb on the dance floor when Alfie P the O.G. danced off into the distance with Sam Pepper shouting after him "Its just a prank bro, a social experiement!" and with that as no one really liked Jaking Off and only came for Alfie P the O.G. almost everyone left and with only a handfull of people left with not even Alex [Insert last name here again] as he and Mike disappeared upstairs to hang themselfs(aka 'playing World of Warcraft' Author's Note: Not a sexual inuendo) it left just 6 million or so left over. With this Jake knew it was time to get started and with his sidekick Misha he knew it was possible as he got to work shoveling dick after dick into his arse and pussy until he fitted just the one half chub into each as both men she tried to fuck turned out to be gay and went over to fuck Misha sticking their dicks into Misha as he screemed "Yes fuck me harder... OH GOD YES THATS THE SPOT YOU LITTLE JOLLY WANKER" Jake feeling left out, like usual took out his phone and searched up some Terraria porn and then all guys in the house were all over her with her phone blasting out Terraria music in the background getting dicks stuffed all inside her causing her to explode (Author's Note(all in brackets after is a Author's Note): she 'exploded' metaphorically) in one big explosion (still metaphoric) going boom, boom, boom all over the house with cum errupting from all her holes as the men filled her (is it metaphoric now?) causing the explosion to match that of Mount Vesuvius (I don't even). However what happened next was truely a specticle (oh I fucking wonder what happened next) as Sonic the fastest Hedgehog alive jumped through the window (not to be confused with Sanic fatst Hegehog alive) jumped in, pointed at Jake and said "I've got you now Eggman" (haha at least he isn't from the Omega A dimension) "and I want you to know Eggman I'm from the Vitamin A dimension" (oh god its even worse) as all the men fucking her walked back Sonic ran in and just fucking beat the shit out of Jake for a full 10 minutes solid and she fucking bled a lot I actually fucking think she could have died but thankfully Alex [Insert last name here again]'s security system turned on and shot Sonic (well that scene went by fast) right in the fucking chest but it wasn't done there as zombies popped out the ground to eat his courpse (wheres your speed now Sonic haha, what am I doing). After all that was said and done the fucking stopped as Alex [Insert last name here] walked downstairs and kicked everyone out (wow what a dickhead) because they were causing too much noise and he couldn't consentrate on his World of Warcraft game (oh understandable now). And that was the story of Christmas past (no it wasn't) and all was jolly that winter as Santa burried his snow covered his snow covered cock up all the good peoples of the Earth (that sounds so much better than the shit you wrote here) and thus concludes this (the fuck I really want this story now, maybe making for a different Jaking Off?) as Alex [Insert last name here] (nah that wouldn't really work thinking about it) and Mike (I really need to write these faster and maybe I'll have time for these amazing stories unlike the shit here) play World of Warcraft deep into the night (really thats fucking it there were so many untied ends like what happened to Jake after, wait do I really care? I hadn't thought of that maybe I'll end it all tomorrow, yes that sounds like fun I'll do that)

Le Fin 


	6. Chapter 6

(Author's Note: Trigger words in capitals so watch out I guess)

One day while wondering through the forest Jake SUDDENLY realised that she has no friends. Not only in this story but as a whole. With this Jake started to slip and slide into a deep depression, deep in the forest, deep under water? She had abandoned his companions she was traveling with and that night in the forest fell aslumber a fucking fat log.

SUDDENLY, when she awoke she looked around himself to find where she was. "Where the fuck I am" she wondered several times. In the time she was wondering this she took the time to have a gander at where she was. Jake was all alone (like usual) in a stone walled room and looking down could see that she was strapped to a wooden (slimy?) board. Jake didn't even notice in this instance that she was naked because being so used to just being fucked on a whim all the time she just got confused. Finally (like really she'd been up for hours) a figure appeared out the corner. The figure soon was revealed to be a small guy wearing a maid outfit who looked rather like a gremlin. The small creature said "Ayy lamo come over here masters we got a liver one". After this two more people desended from the shadows wearing FULL GIMP GEAR. One of them was rather short in comparasion to the other wearing almost nothing (he has GIMP GEAR on) but a helmet sat on top of his head. The taller one wore not much as well (was still wearing GIMP GEAR) but still wore a pikachu hat (plz no sue nintendo) on top of his shit. Before they had the chance to speak Jake muttered "The Bondage Bros" quietly under his breath (Authors note: The Bondage Bros are a couple of jokers who go around the countryside kidnapping people and showing them a fun time before letting them go). "Aye that we are fine lass" The shorter Bondage Bro stated. He went on "Me names Ethan, the best of the wee Bondage Bros". "Staup it" said the taller one, "You may wish that you were, and that you once was. But for now fair brother let I be the best for I have bested thou in games of quidditch many times just this year". "Don't ye be starting Nelson" [to the small guy] "Jesse could ye be tightening them there straps". "Righto" proclaimed Jesse tightening the straps on the equipment. "Now let me be showing ya just how this work is meant to be done" Ethan stated getting out the feather and tickling Jake's right nipple (Author's Note: Not the left as Ethan does it the 'right' way) with Jake getting WET in response. "Hmmmmm? Is that all" Nelson snarked "I could elicit a response far better than that could ever do" (To Jesse) "Procure me that chaindildo over yonder"  
"Righto" he proclaimed entering into a room round back, when he returned he was carrying something that did sound like the name suggested but instead of a saw on this chainsaw there was a dildo with bumps all over it. Ethan in a shock shouted "Boy you ain't be meaning to use that! You remember the response last time down in ye olde valley"  
"Deep in my heart I can sense that this girl is more than any others before hand, she is on a mission, one that will take her all across the world. She has already faced more hardships that either you nor I can dare to think of. Her opponments have probably put her through worse than ever before. I mean if you didn't really notice she just has a fucking gapping hole. Fucking hell just have a gander at that mean one" said the wizard? Nelson. Ethan responded "WHAT THE FUCK, HOW DID I NOT NOTICE THAT BEFORE THAT FUCKING HOLE IS HUGE I MEAN IS THAT EVEN WHAT I THINK IT IS AT THIS POINT?! JUST FUCKING SHOVE IT IN SON. RAM IT INNNNNNNNNNN" Nelson took the chaindildo from Jesse who said "Ayy lamo give it your best shot big boss boy, I've made sure to get the triple-A batteries rammed right in there so give it your best shot boss" Jake looked and it and jokingly said (the chaindildo has a length of 2 metres and a girth of 1/8 a meter)  
"Really? I mean really. What the fuck guys I thought we were going big here I mean what the fuck. I thought it would be double that size at least. I mean fucking come on" Nelson responded "Do not worry my dear" he had a big grin drawn right across his face, a sex craving grin if you will then shouted "THIS ISN'T EVEN IT'S FINAL FORM!" THE CHAINDILDO QUADROUPLED IN SIZE WITH JAKE SHOUTING "FUCK YES THAT'S MORE LIKE IT LADS"  
AND THEN NELSON FUCKING RAMMED IT IN WITH HIS FUCKING GRIN ON HIS FACE AS ETHAN USED HIS feather? TO FUCKING TOUCH THAT RIGHT NIP RIGHT UP. NEXT JAKES JUST HAVING THE TIME OF HIS LIFE WITH THIS FUCKING CHAINDILDO. WAIT A SECOND. Uh-oh here come dat boi from the heavens and all respond "OH SHIT WATS UP!"

Hours later the crew are having some tea and scones with dat boi (they stopped the sex scene? to welcome dat boi)  
"And then I said, that chicken, he does what he wants with that road" joked dat boi (you better laugh because it's dat boi's joke). Then SUDDENLY out of the woods popped Misha and Jams Flyn with Misha saying "Did I miss something" and everyone laughed (If you don't get the joke it's because most of the time he's the most eager to get banged hahahaha very funny)

TO BE CONTINUED

(Authors Note: If you dare say dat boi is a 'dead meme' get the fuck out of here because we ain't having that shit. He's a legend and you cannot talk shit to him) 


End file.
